For some reason staying up for another few hours woke me up rather than tiring me out so I am going to make a second attempt at a recap of the last few weeks that I have been inactive.
First, and most immediately, is that I was just told by a stranger that this blog was somehow entertaining to read, and that, admittedly, was about the best thing I have ever been told by a stranger of indeterminate sex and taste.
In any case if that person ever reads this they do have my utmost gratitude for their kind words.
Onto business; My college friend, being the only one of my friends that I neither periodically nor consistently hate, came back into town and so my entire life was sort of derailed. That is to say I haven’t spent more than a few days at home since he got here, and any possibility of me getting a job, working out or just generally doing anything productive has gone down (not that the chances were all to high in the first place.)
You see, at the age of nineteen, no matter people seem to think, you have to start seriously looking at what direction you intend to go in life, ideally you would have done this at some point during your highschool years, but of course ideally you aren’t me. At home I find myself pressured to get a job and go to college and countless other things that when they all add up sort of become impossible to do in my mind.
The real problem with this area is my “social anxiety.” People scare me, or rather, I am irrationally scared of talking to people. As such the process of getting a job or applying for a college seems to be a massive feat.
The irony of this is that I am attempting the long and arduous journey to movie fame. I want to be an actor.
Gimme a moment to check back posts…
…
Surprisingly I haven’t actually talked about my ambitions in the theatre area so I guess I had better get them out of the way before I continue.
Put simply and concisely, acting is the only thing that has ever made me get out of bed before nine o clock.
And yes I am aware of the irony of a person who blogrants about his fear of people wanting to be an actor, but it mostly goes away on stage. That’s actually part of why I love it so much.
Anyway, I feel the same way about getting a job or going to college as I do about talking to a pretty girl. Afraid, nervous, but most importantly there’s a strange sense of impossibility in my mind. Like there is no way in the world I could ever actually accomplish it.
Either way I’ll have to start moving my life forward as soon as my friend leaves town again. Since I won’t have anything to do I think it shouldn’t be an enormous problem.
P.S. The computer at home has been sent off to be fixed. No idea when it will be back and so the regularity with which I post in the coming weeks might become a little iffy. At the moment I am on my friends laptop while he sleeps. As mentioned above he IS leaving so I guess we’ll see what happens.
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